I suppose you could also call this subject “always something in the way”.
No matter if you find a new partner or if you are going back to your long-time companion, after the operation things are different and it will take some effort to overcome your shyness
and to accept your new body image.
For me it was a feeling of virginity. Before, I had a smooth and unscathed tummy and now it is the extreme opposite: the tummy is torn and deformed.
It is not easy to reveal these changes.
Especially at a young age, when you first discover sexuality it is extremely difficult to show the courage and openness to talk about a stoma.
You cannot hide it as your partner will definitely find out.
I experimented with a whole range of scarves and cloths but they always slipped and moved. My Mum even sewed a beautiful elastic cotton belt with an inside pocket for the bag and four
little clips at the back but it would not sit in its place. I then tried a rubber belt, which I had to purchase in a sex shop, and felt very embarrassed doing so and after that,
I switched to a neoprene belt, which finally worked for me. The outside was nice and soft and due to its rubbery inside stayed where it belonged.
The lacy belt followed and finally I had two pieces, which gave me a sense of security, and I felt attractive again.
Unfortunately, sometimes during these operations areas are injured which affect the ability to lead a normal love life and in many cases it is forgotten to clarify the
risks before the actual operation. A psychotherapeutic treatment should always be part of the whole package. There are therapists especially for this kind of sensitive subject.
You have to be open and give yourself and your partner time, and only when you have found your inner self you can enjoy the love act again.
I would love to write something about contraception, pregnancy, giving birth and having children but I do not have any children myself and have to rely on your experience.
It would be great to hear from anyone who has been down this path and I would love to write about it on this website.