There is always the ostomy bag in between!
Whether you find a new partner or return into the arms of your partner after surgery you need a great deal of self-confidence to accept these changes. My belly had been smooth and unscathed and in stark contrast to its present condition - torn and scarred. To reveal and to accept these changes hasn’t always been easy for me in the past.
When you're young and just about to discover sexuality you require a great deal of courage because your partner is going to notice it in any case.
Right after the surgery, I experimented with scarves, but they always got out of place. I was wondering how I could improve that. My mother sewed an elastic textile belt for me, with an inside pocket for the pouch and four little hooks on the back side. That was my first real ostomy belt which would become much more beautiful as a lace belt! Later on, I bought, rosy-cheeked and soaked with sweat, an expensive latex belt in a sex shop, which didn’t really make me happy. Then I found the solution and had the first neoprene belt sewn. At last, the pouch remained where you would expect it to be. The outside feels pleasantly soft.
The rubberized inside connects with the skin so that the bag can neither slip nor pinch. The pouch can fill up slowly under the neoprene and stays where it belongs. The ostomy belts gave me the feeling back to be self-confident and attractive.
Quite often, areas are injured in the course of surgery and radiotherapy, making an enjoyable love life impossible. The consequences of such procedures are hushed up only too often. There are specialised therapists who mainly deal with these problems. You can only approach the affair frankly and allow yourself and your partner, too, enough time. After all, you can let go of yourself and enjoy the physical love only relaxed and without fear.
I’ll gladly pass on the experiences, which I’ve heard on the grapevine, in writing or by phone! Have the heart to do it!
I would also like to write about the subjects “contraception, pregnancy and children”. But since I have no children, I would greatly appreciate firsthand reports, which I would like to publish.